Counting the Petals

Ok! So Greetings to y'all fools!

I love you all for checking my blog(s) and I wish I could kill you all for not dropping in any comment. Anyway I am back but not with any poem or sketch but general stuff.

I don’t have many tattoos to do this week and nor I am interested in finding/digging out the unusual things. I am just feeling lazy and I so much want to spread the laziness around. Haha. I feel so EVIL after writing this.

I am in a weird state of mind and I am not sure if I should be writing this here. Because when it comes to making people understand what exactly I am going through, man I suck! Because its not about a poem or any sketch that I would leave on the people to guess and interpret in their own ways, its about passing on the exact message, the exact feelings.

Anyway, as usual, at times, unexpectedly I start thinking about the world and life in whole and I get crazy ideas. It’s like I feel like an idiot at times because I feel I am so good and it’s bad to be good in this bad world. Yes I know its funny but it’s true.

Ok what would you do if you know you are a good person , your work is always appreciated, people loves you and most of your guy friends go gaga over you and many girlfriends are jealous of you and you are living thoroughly. I know you would say.. “ ok. Now what? It’s perfect!”

But that’s exactly where I feel I am not right. I don’t feel things to be that perfect. I shall reveal the reason soon.

Although I know I am not the only one who thinks about a lot of weird stuff, there are many, but I feel am unique. Haha… a bit of narcissism here!

You know a lot of times when we peek into the lives of people around us like our family and friends or relatives; we feel they somehow or in some way are different beings from inside. An explorer stuck in a body whose priorities are different, who has to take care of their children, their work, their living and God knows what not. I mean why the hell do we have to follow the same tradition? Why should one marry at the first place and get more into this weird materialistic and family world if their aim in life is to learn and gain knowledge or work or may be travel!

Seriously I feel people around us are so bloody stuck in their stupid lives, they don’t really realize what they are actually missing. They would dress up fine and get every sort of things done [not that I don’t do it] but the reasons are different. I do it because I feel nice, majority aka dumb asses do this because they want to get laid or attract somebody etc etc. What a waste!

Why do people stop hunting what they really want? Why do they stop chasing the answers to those puzzling questions which meant a lot to them when they were kids? Why do they let others guide them specially when they know they are not doing any thing wrong and yes , the ones guiding you are obviously else generally blind!

People keep telling me J you are crazy when I tell them what I really want from my life! I am artist plus I do a lot of different things and I completely socialize, go partying at weekends and do everything people generally do. This part is very much accepted by people around me. But when at the same time I balance this part of my life with my inner self they think I am crazy. Man! I love knowing the unknown, I love digging into the things people don’t even know of, I love maintaining an archive of mysterious stuff around the globe.

Now is that too much? Just because my interests are more in number and better than general people, M crazy!??? Useless people!

A person with an average 60 years life of span, spending his 50 years in earning and running family is a loser to me! I mean in your ‘only’ life time, if you did not find out the answers to your questions, you did not satisfy that fire of knowing/doing things within you, thn your life is a waste!

Now one of my aim is to have a library of my own! [full of books on subjects one would never find in general libraries] And I am working hard on it. At-least while I try to complete this quest I will evolve and learn a lot. [ I am not becoming a saint, I for sure will be working and enjoying my life the way normal people do.]

But I am sure One day I will know much to share with the world and at the same time I'll wonder why others couldn’t do it!? One day I will just not talk and write about good stuff, I will be doing it too. One day I will be living life to the fullest. And that one day is coming soon. J